Where Were You That Day?

It seems like every generation has their defining tragedy.  That one moment when everyone seems to remember exactly where they were and what they were doing.  For my parent’s generation it was the Kennedy assassination.  For my generation it is 9/11.

This morning at work everyone has been talking about what they were doing when they learned the towers had been hit. It is amazing that after twelve years the memories are still so crystal clear.  

I learned about it when a co-worker came out of his office and said that one of the World Trade Center towers had been hit by a plane, but that nobody knew whether it was an accident or an attack.  A few minutes later he came back out, his face completely drained of color, and said that another plane had hit the second tower.  At that moment we knew the terrible truth.  I remember the whole office going silent, completely in shock.  After that there was a flurry of activity with everyone trying to get on the internet or crowding into the offices that had radios.  I remember the frustration of not knowing what was happening, and the fear of not knowing what was to come.   Mostly I remember this terrible feeling of sorrow and vulnerability.  It was unlike anything I have ever experienced, before or since.

Embracing My Inner Geek

I used to think that it was a bad thing to be a geek.  I may have been married to a geek, but I most certainly did not consider myself to be one.  I rolled my eyes at his comic books and super hero movies.  Seriously, wasn’t he supposed to be a grown-up?

I was rather horrified when I secretly started to enjoy sci-fi movies.  I had laughed at the very idea of movies like “Starship Troopers”, but now I had not only seen it, I had enjoyed it.  The horror!  I could never let anyone know this!  I must stay safely in the geek closet.

Then came the day that hubby told me that Dina Meyer, one of the stars of “Starship Troopers” was going to be at our local Comic Con.  Ever since I saw ST she had been one of my favorite actresses.  I very much wanted to meet her, but how could I go to a Comic Con?  Those things were for geeks and I most certainly was not one!  Of course, I couldn’t pass it up so I decided to go.  I was fully prepared to be amused by the silly people in their silly costumes.

What happened that day amazed me.  I was completely stunned by the people that were at that Comic Con.  I had never been around a group of people that were so immediately accepting.  There were no strangers there.  It didn’t matter that you had never met, they were immediately ready to strike up a conversation.  Perfect strangers were trading tips on which lines were the longest and which celebrity guests were the nicest.  The cosplayers (the “silly costume people”) were willing to pose for photos for as long as anyone wanted.  The sheer level of work that went into some of those costumes, not to mention the practice it must have taken to get down the appropriate mannerisms and poses, was staggering.

Another thing that I found extremely moving was the level of acceptance. It didn’t matter if a person was fat, thin, tall, or short. It didn’t matter if you wore glasses, had acne, or were a super model.  These people just accepted that everyone was there because of a shared passion. For someone who had once judged this culture, I was beyond humbled.

By the end of the day, I had completely changed my tune about geek culture.  Instead of snickering, I embraced.  My twitter feed started filling up with people like Will Wheaton. I’ve since gone to two other Cons.  One was by myself and the other hubby and I traveled all the way to Chicago for.  I have met some amazing people and had some terrific experiences.  So, am I a geek?  You bet!

An Unconventional Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of San Antonio, there lived a curly-headed princess.  (Well, she was actually a soldier, but the story is much more romantic if she is a princess.)  She fell in love with a kind, handsome prince. (You guessed it, he was a soldier too.)  They fell in love and wanted to share their lives together, but were in no hurry to make things legal. 

Then one day a ferocious dragon attacked.  (She got orders to go to Fort Drum.)  The prince and princess knew that only the power of true love could save them, so they decided it was time to get married.  On the day the marriage was to take place they ventured out in the midst of a powerful thunderstorm in search of a justice of the peace.  They finally found the JP in a converted jail house. So, in the midst of a raging storm, while standing in a former jail, the prince and princess exchanged their vows. (The wise JP included a wonderful clause in the prince’s vows.  He had to promise to bring the princess presents even when it wasn’t a holiday.)  Once the vows were said the dragon was slain and they went off to Fort Drum together. 

They went on to have many wonderful adventures and have enjoyed living their unconventional fairy tale ever since.  Their happily-ever-after is still continuing.

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful hubby.  On that stormy day 18 years ago I did not think I could love you more than I did at that moment.  I have been proven wrong every day since.

Going Public With The Blog

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I have been debating with myself for awhile if I wanted to keep this blog as my own little on-line diary, or if I wanted to go public with it. As you can tell from the link above, I have decided to go public.  You can now follow me on Bloglovin.

I have no intention of using this blog as anything more than a hobby. I don't plan on pursuing advertisers or sponsors, and I don't consider it to be a secondary career. However, I know I can't be the only middle-aged, plus-sized woman in the world who is trying to find a way to manage life a little more successfully.  If any of my experiences can help someone, I feel it is my duty to do so.

So, here I am world.

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day as you enjoy your picnics, BBQ's, and sales at the mall, please take a moment to remember the men and women who gave their lives in service to their country.

Regardless of our beliefs or political affiliations, the one thing we should all be able to agree on is the respect that is due to those that have made the ultimate sacrifice in defense of our country.

To all of those who never made it home, I send a humble and deeply felt "Thank You".

On Grief

This has been such a terribly sad week.  Of course, the bombing at the Boston Marathon has been foremost in people’s minds.  It is just incomprehensible to me how anybody could have such hate in them that they feel compelled to injure and kill complete strangers.  We live in a scary, scary world.

A little closer to home, Pat Summerall passed away today.  He was such an incredible man.  He was kind, classy, and had a tremendous broadcasting talent.  He was also a wonderful example of someone who embraced their second chance and made the most of it.   My hubby was blessed to get to know Mr. Summerall on a personal basis. He was one of his favorite people and we both join the families, friends, and fans of Mr. Summerall who are mourning his passing.

This week also held a tragedy at my job.  A co-worker was killed in a freak accident.  She was only 26. I never got a chance to know her, but everyone who did says that she was one of the best people they had ever known.  Most of the people that she worked closely with were close to her in age.  For a lot of them this will probably be the first time they have ever lost someone close to them, let alone a peer.  I am so proud of the way my company has handled this. They have made counselors available to anyone who needs them, have made sure that everyone has the funeral information, and are even creating a memory book to send to her family.  I was just really blown away by the support that they are giving to those who are suffering from this loss.

I have had some tragic losses in my life and consider myself pretty well versed in the mourning process.  If I could give those experiencing a loss one piece of advice it is that everyone grieves in their own way.  Some people need to continue their life like nothing has happened, some people need to lock themselves away and lose themselves in tears for a while, some people feel the need to constantly be active and fill their life with as many distractions as possible.  Nobody can tell you that you are grieving wrong, just as you cannot judge how anyone else grieves.  My one caveat to that is that if your grieving process has you turning to drugs or alcohol, if you have suicidal thoughts, or if your grief begins to turn into depression you should seek out help in dealing with it.  There is no shame in talking to someone.  A burden shared is a burden lessened.

For everyone who has lost family, friends, or co-workers this week, be kind to yourself. The pain does lessen. Your loved one will always be remembered and will always be a part of you. Take the time to mourn the loss and mark their passing in whatever way feels right to you.

Blessings to you all.

I’m a Bad, Bad Blogger

Back when I started this blog I had grand ambitions of it being a place where I could foster my creativity and grow my writing skills.  I swore I would write insightful, funny posts and do my very best to be a devoted and authentic blogger.  I didn’t do too bad the first month or so.  I wasn’t blogging as much as I wanted to, but I was at least getting some stuff out there.  Then, life happened.

The month of January was an incredibly stressful time.  Some of it good, some of it bad, but all of it very intense and anxiety provoking.  I’ve already written about losing my sweet puppy dog.  I thought I was prepared for it, but it was much harder than I anticipated.  Then, I came down with the flu. Also during that month I found out that I was being moved to a new team at work and I had to move to a new office space twice within three weeks.  Hubby accepted a new position that would entail him being out of town for a solid month.  Oh, and we also had to have our roof replaced.

By the time hubby left for his month long business trip I was feeling completely frazzled.  I really planned on using my time alone to get the chaos under control.  I had a plan and it seemed fool-proof.  Unfortunately, by that time I had nothing left.  No gas in my tank. I was physically and mentally exhausted.  So, I gave myself a break.  Oh, I still went to work and kept the house livable.  But I watched a lot of television and ate a lot of fast food.  I kept thinking that I should blog, but I just didn’t have the gumption to do it.

When hubby finally got back we took a vacation to Florida.  It was great spending some time away and great having him home.  I kept thinking life would calm down, but it just kept getting more and more hectic.  Between his crazy schedule and my job it seemed like every week was just a race to survive until the weekend.  I kept thinking that I should blog, but who could find the time?

I finally started thinking that maybe I should just stop even trying to blog.  I should just take down the few posts I had written and call this a failed experiment.  After all, my life is totally chaotic and out of control right now.  Could I really justify taking time to just sit at my computer and write?  Just when I was about to kill the blog, I got to thinking that maybe this would actually be the best time to write.  I wanted a creative outlet, maybe giving myself one would allow me to start taking back control of my life. Maybe enforcing some disciple around my postings would help me to start taming the chaos. 

So, I am back.  I’m glad that I never really decided on a theme or a direction for this blog.  Because it looks like for now it is going to be about bringing you along on the journey as I try to get to get my house and my life organized again.  Wish me luck!